Dating a Girl With Social Anxiety and Depression

I woke up at noon and I haven’t shaved in four days, but at least I’m not dead. I should probably get my life together. Clean my room, and actually eat some real food. Oh, and I should also probably go outside. I need more vitamin D. However, yesterday I willingly went to the store, and a pizza place with my mom and sister. So props to me for braving society.

I also went to an antique store where I wasted some money on an ammo box because it looked cool. And now it’s sitting in the middle of my floor and I don’t know what to do with it. I guess I can put stuff in it, but that feels sort of wrong since it’s all old and used to have bombs in it. I suppose it can just sit there for now until I trip over it at three in the morning when I find myself craving ramen.

Moving on.

 

Like many other fifteen year old girls, I dream of finding “the one.” I haven’t had my first boyfriend yet, or my first kiss, or hug, or anything with a boy. Not that I think it’s ever going to happen. My anxiety is making me think things like: “How could anyone ever like me?” or “There’s no way I’m good enough.”

Which is low-key really stupid of me because someone has a crush on me right now, and has had it for over two years.

(I don’t like them back so that kinda sucks)

Anyway, when dating a girl like myself, one with Social Anxiety and Depression, I offer you some dos and don’ts so you don’t screw up.

1.) Do NOT poke fun at her illness. She already thinks she’s insane, like something is wrong with her and like she isn’t worth it! I know from experience! She honestly can’t do much about it. Yes, be aware of the illness and take steps to comfort and support her, but don’t be that guy.

2.) Don’t wait hours to text her back just so you won’t seem desperate. It gives her time to stew and mull over what she’s just told or asked you. Her anxiety will kick in and totally kill her confidence. It will definitely jeopardize the relationship, and she’ll be hesitant to text first. Don’t do it man.

3.) Don’t ever let her think she’s unloved. Whether it be a simple goodnight or good morning text. Maybe give her a random compliment, especially if you notice her wearing a new outfit or new hairstyle. It will not only ease her nerves, but it will strengthen the relationship and make her more comfortable in her own skin.

4.) Reassure them constantly man. It may feel annoying, and be annoying to do, but you’ll be really thankful. Trust me.

5.) Triggers. Identify them. This one will be really hard, but once you figure out what makes them anxious and upset, you’ll be able to make them feel more comfortable and safe around you.

6.) Text them when you’re on the way over and when you get home. You might feel annoying, but it assures them that you’re safe, and that you didn’t get hit by a semi-truck.

7.) Hugs. Hugs are very comforting, especially if we’re feeling anxious. It’s like a blanket of security.

8.) Keep them in the loop with your life! They’ll feel wanted, and know what to expect.

9.) Under no circumstances should you surprise them unless you are positive it will make them happy. You’ve got to be 101% sure this won’t blow up in your face before you even consider it.

10.) Change is hard. Try to limit drastic changes in your relationship. Things will change, but try your best to either ease into them slowly or help your partner through it.

11.) Be there for them. Just be there. As someone with both anxiety and depression, knowing someone is there is really soothing, and it makes me really happy.

12.) Try your very best not to be early, and not to be late for dates, or for anything. If you’re going to be late, text or call and tell them, and explain why if you can. Coming early… wait outside before you knock if you have to. They’ll feel the need to rush, and they’ll start to panic if they aren’t ready to go yet.

Things to expect: 

-Them being nervous about doing simple tasks

-Them repeating the same question over ten times.

-Apologizing when they did nothing wrong.

-You ordering their food for them and making phone calls for them.

-Repeating directions three times over, and then just having to accompany them wherever they’re going.

– Sweaty palms.

-Texts as soon as you leave.

-Them constantly changing their minds.

-Checking over and over to see if they did something right (Ex: Wrote down a phone number or address.) 

-“Yes, it’s 3:00 o’clock. Your phone is correct.”

-Directions will never be clear enough.

-Answering the same question multiple times over.

-Questions such as: “Do you love me?” and “Are you sure?”

Well, that’s all I can think of. Try not to change date plans suddenly unless it’s raining and you can’t go on a picnic or something like that. If you cheat on someone with anxiety… I’ll hunt you down and skin you alive. I know how to hide a body. Cheating on them would basically destroy them for life. It would haunt them for a very, very long time.

I’m so high maintenance that I’m going to die alone.

Whatever, I’ll stay the singlest Pringle forever if I have to I guess. Maybe one day I’ll find someone that fits the profile correctly. It’s hard to find guys like that to be honest. Too bad I’m too nervous to approach any boys.

Who wants to come to my funeral?

Anyway, someone of these could apply to a boy, but I can’t be sure. I’m sorry, but I’m not a male. I am a fifteen year old girl sitting in my bedroom doodling on sticky notes and eating Pixy Stixs. I can try to answer any questions you may have! Sorry I can’t help with the boy side. I’ll observe my brother more. He has pretty bad anxiety.

And no girlfriend.

uGH.

 

 

 

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